The dumbest argument I've ever read.

It is Friday and someone pissed me off.

When I decided to study abroad, the sole purpose of me choosing to study here rather than in Malaysia is because of the advantages the US system offered.

Sebab pertama:

If I were to buy a chemical reagent from an overseas-based company, it will take months for the item to arrive where as I could get the same reagent for 2 days here in the US (if I use expedited shipping, I can get it right the next day, ha!).

Sebab kedua:

Studying in the US forced me not to speak my mother-tongue language. As a result, I won't go stutter whenever I have to converse in English.

Sebab ketiga:

The only expert in my field is my mentor back in UPM. No doubt he was a graduate from Cornell. But having only one professor teaching you everything about one subject doesn't give you a broad idea about your field.


So, if you think, the reason why I chose overseas for my graduate education is because I would like to bring my husband, having a US-born child, tettttttttt, you are totally wrong. My husband won't even want to accompany me at first. I have to beg him for the first few months after we got married.

And do you think I would just sacrifice the idea of me being pregnant during the peak fertility age (ie: in my 20's) just to get a scroll of Ph.D?

Tettt, again, you are totally wrong!

I am married and the reason of me getting married is to have children. I do not simply go pregnant once I am in grad school. I waited a few years so that I could get everything out of the way before we decided to have a child. Even so, I know a lot of married couple with children that could manage their time really well during the first few years of grad school. The very valuable skill that I learn from having a baby when I am still in grad school is I get everything organized. Dulu masuk lab, bukak email fb segala mak nenek sampai kul 12, pergi lunch, lepas lunch baru buat kerja, balik rumah kul 7pm. Now, I make sure I have everything planned a week before and I get everything done by 5pm.  So, shut the f*ck up, you have no idea how grateful I am having a baby now rather than later. I know 5 people who didn't finish their study and they were single. So, everyone has sh*t in their life, it is the matter of how they deal with it.


Do you think I live a luxury life here in the US?

Although my husband is working, half of his pay goes to our baby's daycare. The other half is to pay our car insurance, bills and emergency saving. The Malaysian government allowance is just enough to pay our house rent, electricity and groceries. If we want to go for vacation, we have to start saving 6 months prior. 6 months okay? Bukan esok nak bercuti, suka2 hati leh pergi.

Thank you for wasting my time writing this piece of emotional sh*t when I should be expressing my milk for Faliela. Thank you for ruining my Friday. And again, shut the f*ck up when you have no idea what you are talking about.

Bid adieu

It will be 5 more days before I leave for home. Home as in Davis.

And yes, we received a call from the embassy exactly 7 working days after the interview and his visa is approved. Alhamdulillah was all I can say after Jai broke the news to me. He can still have his job back and Faliela's daycare understands our problem and will be accepting her back. Of course, my supervisor is happy that I can be back earlier than what I predicted to her.

Things happened for a reason. And yes, this incident made me realized that Allah boleh tarik rezeki kepada kita bila-bila masa. Hari nih kita berduit, tapi esok mungkin tidak lagi.

On another note, this incident reunites me with several close friends whom I haven't met since the past 3 years. This incident helped me to settle my 'hutang nazar' as well as 1 month is such a short time to get all the tasks done.

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. Praise to Allah. And thank you for all the wishes and prayers, my dear readers.

See you back in the USA!

The ugly truth about some Americans

A friend posted this video on Facebook: How's Muslim treated in America? She cried watching this video, so did I.

Too bad. Over 50% chose to do nothing. But this is the truth.. the ugly truth. Those Americans need someone to educate them about the First Amendment.

Winter way too soon

My most favorite US holiday, Thanksgiving Day has finally arrived and like every year, I am very thrilled!

Reasons being:

1. I get to eat roasted turkey.

Thanksgiving 2008. Yummy turkey golek!

 2. Black Friday shopping frenzy. Although after 2 years living in the US, I realized the price especially for clothes, handbags and things like that were as cheap as other holiday sales, but I like midnight shopping. It is just different =)

3. A 4-day off from work.


Husband gets 3 days off from work too so I kicked start the long weekend tonight by a Western style dinner, grilled chicken marinated with herbs.

Finger licking good babeh =)

And yes, with winter approaching sooner than it should be this year (as usual, cold means depressing), I don't want to stuck at home doing nothing at night, so I bought two PS3 games for a  berperang bonding session with Jai.

Yeah mommy, I'm depressed too watching the both of you yelling at each other while playing game and ignoring me =(

Have a nice weekend! For those in the US, Happy Thanksgiving! And to my Malaysian readers, enjoy the sunny and warm weather (kita trade weather boleh?)

Chop..chop..chop....

I encountered an article on 10 most popular haircuts of all time. Click HERE to read more.

Coincidentally, I wanna get a haircut too since....




1. It is summer and the weather is getting hotter.
2. I have one big plan coming up this year so waiting til next year to get a haircut will be too late.
3. I want to get rid of my 'getah rambut' for the time being since my cat, Rocky the pinky nose likes to EAT them.

But the problem is I've been getting my haircut at Ah Fong's, my neighbor who has a hair salon in her house since I was 6 years old. Even my nephews and nieces get their haircut at Ah Fong's, senang cakap the whole family lah. Kalau perm rambut ke ape ke, if we have to wait for an hour before the chemicals work, kitorang siap leh balik rumah makan nasi. Jai has been getting his haircut at this one Chinese lady ever since we've been here and it was okay I guess, rambut laki takde pesen so okaylah kot.

I guess I have to give her a try anyway since I have no other options and going back to Malaysia just to get a haircut is absurd, so wish me luck! Kalau buruk, aku pakai anak tudung 24 hrs lah, boleh?

We saw a crime in progress!

Serious shit. Takut gile. This happened about 45mins ago.

It was midnight and I had to go to Safeway to buy something. Jai went first to our car as I was changing my clothes. Then, he called me asking whom to call in emergency cos he saw 2 suspicious men with a cutter and asking him for tap water. I told him to call 911, then I went down to the car, got in and Jai was on the line with the 911 operator.

While he was describing the men to the operator, I saw two guy matching his description right in front of us. One of the guy riding a kid bicycle and stopped at an apartment two units away and tried to cut a bicycle lock. They didn't see us cos Jai didn't turn the headlights on. It scares the hell out of me cos if they knew we were watching them and if they decided to go after us with his 'bapak besar punya cutter', oh gosh!

I pulled back the seat cos I was so scared. Then, as Jai describing the scene, I realized they were gone. Then, about 30 secs later, one of the guy walked past us carrying a cutter on his back and he saw us in the car. But he acted cool and disappeared again. At that point of time, we realized we didn't locked our car. Anyway, we stayed put and saw a police car drove past us.

I went back to our house while Jai was waiting for the police downstairs. Then, when I came out, Jai was already inside the police car and they took him away. About 15 mins later, Jai came back saying he had to identify the two men. He didn't come out from the police car of course, and the window was tinted. The police just needed to capture the live image of the two men 50 meter away and showed them to Jai. 4 police cars were on scene, no wonder they were apprehended so quickly. I thought the police car drove past us was actually the first one on scene, but the 2 bad guy were already detained as Jai was speaking to the operator.

I'm glad we were so addicted playing Resident Evil 5 that we delayed our plan to go to Safeway. If we went out early, probably someone's bike would get stolen tonight. I'm hoping Jai does not have to work at night this coming week :(

Food dilemma

Whenever I went to a conference or party, I had trouble to find food that I could eat.

Like just now, I went to my department's Christmas potluck party and I just didn't know which one on the spread that I could actually eat.

I don't want to be rude asking people what they brought and whether they contained meat or not.So, I end up choosing few dishes that I thought of having no meat inside. But,I selected one dish that I didn't know had chicken. So, I squezzed them over to far end of the plate.

Then, it was time for dessert.I took a slice of cake.I tasted it and there was a strong odor of alcohol. But I was not sure.So, I took another bite and at the same time, I heard someone over the other side of table asking whether the person that made the cake put alcohol in it.

And...

I didn't hear the answer but I guess she must have put rum in it cos otherwise the person won't be asking. So,there it goes... Another plate into dustbin.

Next Tuesday, my supervisor is hosting a Christmas party at her house. Another dilemma. Huh. I guess I should bring food that I can eat so that I won't end up being hungry!

On another note, my deepest condolences goes to my ex-classmate, Teh Hamizah whose brother-in law passed away in an accident. Full story in Buletin Utama, Dec 11. Her sister was married to the brother-in-law for just 4 hours before he passed away. Let us recite Al-Fatihah.Amin

I'm annoyed.. Do you?

Sometimes I do feel annoyed when people thought my last name were the combination of a middle name and a last name... Don't they get it that other people who are not Americans have 2 words for their last name and they are not family name, but patronymic name?

I even get scolded once when I checked-in to a hotel for a conference when they couldn't find my last name on the list cos it appeared as Kamal, instead of the correct one... How do I know you put it that way, jerk!

That happened again today, where they mistakenly put my father's name as Kamal, instead of Mustaffa Kamal on the name tag for a course I'm attending.. I usually put a hyphen between the two words, just to make sure that they know it is my full last name...Maybe they just ignored what I wrote down in the form?


What worst was when they spelled it wrong... Like this..




I'm obviously not an Indian, walaupun ada gak terasa nak jadi heroin Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.. Nasib baik this picture was distributed among us, if they published it on the website, hmmm entahla...

I can tolerate when people misspell Mustaffa cos there are many spelling variations, but not when they shorten it down... It was really annoying, urghh....

At last everything pays off!

Drama..drama...drama....

I would not stop whining until the problem settle... The problem of me finding a person to sublease my apt... I know, boring, but please bear with me....

Earlier this week, I got an email from a woman by the name of Kristina who was interested to rent my apt over the summer.. She said she wanted to move in this weekend. We are so desperate to get her renting ours so we thought of being a nomad for a week before we get the key to our new apt.

Then, we set up an appointment for her to come over and take a look at my place.. Here is the chronology:

1. She wanted to come at 6.30pm, so I took off from lab about 6 pm though I have plenty of work to be done... She emailed me at 6.15 pm saying there's something came up, and she had to reschedule to the day after, at around 1 pm...

2. The next day,I rushed back from lab around 12.30pm and waited until 1.30pm.She didn't show up. She emailed me around 2pm saying that she knocked the door but no one answered. It was weird cos I left the door open and I was 100% sure I didn't hear anything. Then , she apologized cos somehow she got the wrong apt, though I already bold my apt no in the email. She rescheduled to meet me around 5.30pm.

3. I rushed back from lab AGAIN, and god, it was exhausting.. And around 5.25 pm, she sent me another email saying she will be late, maybe around 6ish. Again, like a fool, I waited until 7pm! . Jai already warned me that girl was trying to pull a prank because she didn't provide me her phone no and all communications were done using email. But, it didn't make any sense at all.. Who's that girl anyway, I don't even know her??

4. So, today she sent me an email explaining that she was busy with her graduation and would like to reschedule again... Like WTF?

But, without fail, I posted a new advertisement everyday on craigslist. So, today, AT LAST, I found a guy who just got separated with his wife (let just hope no more drama) that wants to rent my apartment and he paid the deposit right away.. This is the kind of person I want to deal with. Not a moronic, stupid, inconsiderate bitch..

I'm pissed off!

We did a spring cleaning halfway yesterday.

Woke up early today and finished the rest of it around 1pm.


We have been looking for people that are interested to sublease our apartment. There were 4 people who were interested but I had to turn down their offer because I was waiting for the woman who later turned out to be part of a scam.

Then, like sudden waves, no people is longer interested with our place until this woman came. But she wanted to come over and take a look at our crib.

So, we waited for her and she called me again at 2pm. At first asking my apt address, second time asking my apt no. then third time, asking what was the cross street. Then, she said she could not find our place. So, my husband went out to look for her. She was biking so it would be easy to spot her.

After a while searching her whereabouts, Jai called her and out of a sudden, she scolded him "If I can't find your apartment, then I don't want to rent your apartment"

Then Jai like " Where are you now? I can show you our place. I'm driving now along Lake Blvd"

Then again, she scolded Jai " I can't find your apartment, I don't want to rent them"

He was pissed off, and so do I.

Aku dah bagi address awal2, tak nak google siap2.. Pastuh dah sampai baru terhegeh-hegeh nak tanya, then tak jumpa marah orang pulak. Nih lah susah kalau jumpa org putih tak beradab.. Rasa cam nak lempang-lempang jer..

Scam.. scam.. scam..

I wanted to sublease my apartment cos we are moving out early.

I received an email from a woman from UK saying she is interested and wanted to secure the apartment. I asked her to sent the first month's rent to secure the apartment.

Then, the check didn't came in and at the same time, few people were also interested with my apartment..

Mysteriously, I received another email from another woman in UK, with the similar style of writing and fonts. It came through my UC Davis mailbox and UCD IT put a note below the email, saying this email probably a spam.

Then, I sent a follow-up email to that first woman to verify her status, that is the department she will be working with, the contact number etc. She did not answered my question, instead her father emailed me saying she is a good girl.. Bla.. bla.. bla.. (like I care?)

I asked her for a second time about the department she will be working with and finally she revealed that she will doing a private research and she does not know anybody in Davis.

It has started to sound fishy because she wrote in her first email, she is coming to do summer research in UC Davis . So, I decided to back out before anything gets worse. But, she kind of ignoring my last email, she said the payment will be on the way.

To note: There are scams going around where they will send you a cashier's check exceeding the amount you asked for, and they will ask you to send back the extra using wire-transfer. In the end, you will be responsible for the bad cashier's check because there is no way bank can trace the check from because it is a fake check and you lost your money to the scammer.


This is why I think technology is sometimes bad. In Malaysia, when I wanted to rent out my room, I went to 7 Eleven, pasted a notice and within a week, I would get a new tenant.

Here, you are relying to IT too much. And you cannot differentiate what is right and what is wrong. Everyone speaks the same language!

The downside of living abroad

I would like to start a new series of post about the downside of living abroad.....

So, while I was day-dreaming in my English class, I managed to list down several things :)

1. Medical treatment.

When you live abroad, this is one thing you would like to avoid... GETTING SICK... I was charged USD900+ for my pregnancy ultrasound. Although the insurance will pay for us, it takes them forever... I even got a second reminder from the ultrasound center cos the insurance company (that Malaysian government hired) did not make the payment..

Speaking about contraceptive pills? Do you know how much it costs out here? 60 bucks per strip/per month and you must have a prescription.. That means you must see a doctor that will charge you for their service. I had to ask Oya to send it from Malaysia.. (tak pasal2 je kawan tuh tak kawin lagi kena pergi beli kan)

2. Prescription.

You need a prescription even to buy a dewormer. Me and hubby handle Rocky's poo so we would like to take extra precautions, but again they didn't sell that as over-the-counter drug. Again, oya jadi mangsa... Contact lens and Specs are the same case.

3. Food

No more dine out.. First, because all you can eat out there are seafood, fish and vegetables unless you makan ayam 'katok'. Second, because the allowance that the government give us is not so much, so you can't afford to dine out that often. This means you have to cook every single day and night and if you have a husband with you, of course you can't rely on Maggi/instant food 24 hrs.

And there is no shop that open 24 hours like 'kedai mamak' in Malaysia. So, whenever you feel like you want to hang out in the middle of the night, the best place to hang out here is my own home sweet home, buat kopi sendiri..

I'm lucky that I live in California , so Asian food not that uncommon here. But still, I miss eating laksa and fish.. We hardly can buy fish here unless it is a frozen one which is tak sedap..

Everytime we go for grocery shopping, I have to read all the ingredients written on the boxes cos there is no 'halal' sign here...

4. Shopping

You can't afford to shop every month cos the allowance is just enough for your daily meal. Some of the things are expensive so you just have to wait until sales day such as Black Friday etc. That was when I bought my COACH (I lined up for 3 hrs ok!!) and I tak beli any new handbags ever since..

The shoes design over here is soooo tak cantik.. Tapak besar2.... Walaupun kat Malaysia, I just can afford to buy Vincci or Nose, their designs are way much better...

Baju? I can only afford beli baju lambak2 time sale or baju jual kat Walmart (similar to Tesco in Malaysia)


There's a lot more to write.. But I wanted to make this post as a series.. So, for the time being, do not think studying abroad is easy as you might think. Although it sounds like glamour bila orang tanya study mana, US... But then, there are so much thing to be taken into consideration. As for now, if God gave me a second chance, I would definitely went back and live my dream in Malaysia. For those out there who think we are living our life in a glamorous way, you are SOOO wrong!

Don't take things for granted while you are in Malaysia..

Sekarang baru nak menyesal...

Itulah, suka sangat study pakai torchlight..

Pastuh, mata rabun kena pakai cermin mata.. Tapi pakai cermin mata tak cantik (kononnye awak tuh cantik sangatla)..

So, pakai contact lens... Pastuh, beli contact lens permanent and tak bawak spare...

Bila bangun pagi, tengok satu dah terkoyak....

Nak beli kat sini, kena ada prescription around 70-80 bucks belum masuk contact lens lagi...

Ikutkan hati, nak buat LASIK je.. Tapi melayang lah 2k.. itu untuk sebelah mata jer.. Habis tuh takkan nak buat sebelah mata jer.. So, impian itu dikuburkan dulu..

Siapa yang duk Malaysia yang suka komplen banyak2 tuh, meh bawak dia datang duk sini..
Itu baru citer pasal contact lens jer, belum aku citer pasal pegi jumpa dr, makan, rumah dan segala bagai... Takpe, takpe nanti aku buat post baru special untuk tuh...

To be continued.....